The Heart Won't Lie
by booster-t
Summary: When Samantha Carter takes an afternoon off to relax in the Garden of the Gods, little did she know that her life would turn upside down before the day was done. Sam and Daniel ... and a hint of Jack. Partly a songfic.
1. Three Times in Love

_Genre:_ Sam/Daniel romance/drama  
_Spoilers:_ None  
_Summary:_ Sam realizes something that Daniel has known for a long time.  
_Season:_ Sometime late in season 9  
_Disclaimer: _I don't own Stargate or anything related to it.  
_Feedback:_ Yes please!!  
_Author's notes:__Italicized text_ indicates thoughts, text indicates emphasis.

* * *

Despite the fact that I am, as my wife tells me, an incurable romantic, I am lousy at writing it. Love to read it, haven't had much success writing it. But the other day I was listening to some old songs, and I realized I had a way to do it. So here is my first attempt at a romance in the guise of a songfic.

I would be remiss if I did not acknowledge the assistance and good advice of Monica Jankowski, Maureen Thayer, Amaranth Traces and drgemini24.

* * *

**Three Times in Love**

"Hey Carter, wha'cha up to? Got time for some of the SGC's world-famous blue Jello?"

Swiveling away from her computer display, Lt.-Colonel Samantha Carter smiled at the question and the questioner.

"Sure do. What brings you here, sir? I thought you weren't going to be down our way for another few days."

The smile in his voice was clear as Major General Jack O'Neill responded: "What? And miss an opportunity to poke fun at our favorite archeologist? C'mon, Carter, do you think I'd let Daniel off so easy? After ten years of us being a team, I wouldn't miss this for the world"

"Well, sir," she replied, doing her best to hide a grin, "I suppose not. But I'm warning you, no beer. You know Daniel can't hold his alcohol."

"You got that right, Carter," Jack agreed, "so, no booze, at least not for Spacemonkey. And yes, T already warned me about plying Daniel with beer, and the fact that I'd better make sure Daniel stays sober. At least, I can have all the beer I want. And cake. There's going to be cake, I hear. Besides, what else can I do? I mean, who am I going to take to this shindig? And even if Danny-boy is our "designated driver", doesn't mean the rest of us can't enjoy the party, does it?" O'Neill ended his rant with a whine that would do a three year old proud.

Laughing to herself, Sam nodded. "Yes, Jack, you can have all the beer and cake you want."

* * *

3 months ago ...

It had been another long day. Samantha Carter found herself wearily walking to the commissary in search of fresh coffee and maybe some conversation. The entire science department had been busy trying to make sense of the artifacts and technology brought back from P9X-376 by SG-7. Daniel had disappeared down the proverbial rabbit-hole and only surfaced periodically to answer questions from his staff. _Not that I'm much better, _Sam thought to herself. _I've been cooped up in my lab for the past 4 days, 18 hours at a time, dealing with Felger and Lee. I need some air_. _Maybe a drive down the mountain will clear my head._

With that, Sam headed back to her lab to grab her keys and to check the weather. One of the problems with being underground was that the weather could change and no one would be the wiser. More than once, what started off as a warm, sunny day ended up a thunderstorm. However, today was not going to be one of those days. The early morning forecast had called for sunny skies with a high near 82º, and a call to the guard post at the entrance to the Cheyenne Mountain Complex confirmed that it was indeed, sunny and in the low 80s. With barely a backward glance, Carter left a note pinned to her door: "Back whenever I get back."

The drive down the mountain into Colorado Springs was everything Sam hoped it would be. The top down, the warm air ruffling her hair, she could almost feel the tension evaporating from her body. _Now this is more like it,_ Sam thought as a smile graced her lips. Before too long, she was through the downtown area and into the park. "Garden of the Gods" was its proper name; to Sam and the rest of SG-1 it always was just "the park." A special place, it held cherished memories and was a refuge that Sam often fled to when she couldn't deal with the pressures of her personal life. Today, sitting under the trees with the sunshine filtering through the branches and the breeze gently keeping the leaves in motion, Sam let her mind roll back the years to when she and the rest of SG-1 had introduced a 12-year alien from Hanka to the joys of ice cream. The last survivor of her people, Cassie Fraiser was now about to enter medical school. _You'd be so proud of her, Janet, _Sam thought to herself. Despite her steadfast reluctance, a tear slipped down her cheek. In the years since Janet's death, Sam had not been able to fill the void in her life. It wasn't just that she missed Janet; she missed the easy-going way the two of them had shared confidences and laughs, sorrow and joy and everything in-between. It was Janet who kept her going when Daniel died. And it was Sam who kept Janet from falling off the edge when Nirrti's genetic manipulation of Cassie threatened to kill the teenager.

Unbidden the thought came to her: _but you have Daniel back and look how close you are. He's taken Janet's place in some ways. You tell him things you wouldn't tell anyone else, and he reciprocates. He's your best friend, just like Janet was your best friend. So he's a guy, is that a problem?_

Shaking her head, Sam focused on the sounds of the park. She soon realized that there was a band playing in the open area, and by the sound of the music, it was what the General would call an "oldies" group. Curious, she headed towards the bandshell. _I wonder who they are?_ Sam thought to herself. As she worked her way through the crowds, she saw the poster: _Tommy James and the Shondells._ Sam paused as she examined the poster. _Why does that name seem familiar? _Almost in response, the lead singer, Tommy James she supposed, took the stage.

"How ya'll doing? We want to thank you for coming this afternoon. It's not often that we have a chance to be here in Colorado. For those of you not around at the time — probably most of you — that last number was called "Hanky Panky". Back in 1969 when we first performed it, we would have had to fight for airtime. The sins of rock and roll I guess. For our next number, I want to go forward about 11 years to 1980. I was 33 in 1980 and I was no longer the hard rocker I was in the 1960s. I changed record labels at the same time and figured it was time to tone down the hard edge of our music. So I wrote this next song as a ballad. It's a very special song because it was written for the woman who became my wife in 1980 and I guess in a way, it reflected my own life. It didn't hurt that it became a million-seller and earned me another gold record. Ladies and gentlemen, here's "Three Times in Love."

You were all of a lady, he was all of sixteen,  
He was king of the mountain, you were his queen.  
You played in the sunshine, you danced in the rain,  
It was so easy, when love was a game.

But everybody's  
Three times in love.  
Two times ain't enough, only one shines above,  
Everybody's three times in love.

As the music began, Sam felt as if she had been rooted to the spot. She was mesmerized by the lyrics and she couldn't tear her eyes away from the band. _Move,_ she commanded her feet. _Nope, not going to happen_ was the effective response. As James continued singing, Sam would have sworn he was singing to her and her alone. Her vision seemed to tunnel and everyone else disappeared. _Three times in love,_ Sam thought. _Have I been three times in love? And if so, when was the first time?_

The answer came soon enough. _Martouf._ Sam cast her thoughts back. In the quiet of her mind and the privacy of her soul, Sam would admit that she had loved Martouf. It was the cruelest of ironies that it had been she who had to shoot him. If it hadn't been for Daniel's comfort, she didn't think she'd have recovered. _Daniel,_ Sam thought, y_ou're always there for me._

Lovers get older, summer goes away,  
You knew that it was over so you looked the other way.  
Suddenly before you, your second time around,  
Ah, you're older and wiser and you're covering a lot of ground.

But everybody's  
Three times in love.  
Two times ain't enough, only one shines above,  
Everybody's three times in love.

Again Sam felt a shock of understanding. _This is scary,_ she muttered. _It's like he's reading my mind._

Second time around _was_ different, and she knew it was so. It wasn't the passion of Martouf. It was the safe, easy comfort of Jack O'Neill. It had to be slow. He was her CO and she was his 2IC. Air Force rules prohibited any relationship between them and so they kept it in the room. At least they did until Jack was promoted out of the SGC and into Homeworld Security. Not expecting to be allowed, O'Neill had asked anyway, and he had been pleasantly surprised when President Hayes agreed to relax the rules and give Jack and Sam special dispensation to be together, provided they were discreet. While technically in the chain of command (everybody in the Armed Forces was in the Homeworld Security chain, more or less), the physical distance and the layers of command between them allowed them to do what they couldn't for eight years. And so they did.

_Guess I need to be brutally honest with myself again_. _Should I be surprised that__Jack and I just aren't working_? Oh, it did at first. Years of repressed desires translated into some rather passionate days and nights. But despite the fact that O'Neill was far smarter than he appeared to be, there was a barrier that seemed indestructible. In many ways, his public persona was a reflection of his private persona. Jack was a man of action. He loved sports, especially fishing. His dislike of what he called "technobabble" was more often than not real. Sam found herself wanting an intellectual equal. _Someone like Daniel._ Again Sam felt herself mentally startled. _Why do I keep coming back to Daniel? _And the answer was instinctive. _Because he's not Jack. Jack's had so many chances since I went to Nevada, but he didn't take them. Looking back, if either of us had really wanted it, we would have given up our jobs to be with each other. I couldn't bring myself to do that … and neither could he. The guy hates paperwork and could've retired after each time he got promoted and yet he didn't. I guess we both chose our work over each other, which says something. _

Now that you're ready, he comes along,  
Your ways are steady and your feelings are strong.  
You are all of the ladies, he is every man.  
You've both been waiting to find each other, now you understand

Why everybody's  
Three times in love.  
Two times ain't enough, only one shines above,  
Everybody's three times in love.

_Three times in love. Who does he think he's kidding? I had two chances and look at me — what do I have to show for it? Who's my "third time?" I'm not in love with anyone now._ But a part of her mind answered back: _Oh yes you are Sam, and you know who. When you let yourself be Samantha Carter rather than Lt.-Colonel Sam Carter, you know who it is. Who's always been there for you, to comfort you, to hold you, to give you support and never ask for anything in return? Who have you always turned to when you needed support, who understands you, **who completes you**? Isn't it time that you did something about it?_

At that moment, the music stopped and the crowd applauded. But Sam still couldn't move a muscle. She felt, more than saw, people move around, her yet she couldn't get her seemingly-paralyzed legs to obey her. In an instant she knew. And with a laugh, she contemplated the notion that the clarity of the moment was blinding. She couldn't see anyone or anything beyond the thought that had crystallized. _Daniel. I'm in love with Daniel. _

The crowd streamed around her as Sam remained transfixed by the revelation she had just had. _I've been so foolish. How could I not see what was right in front of me? That's what Dad was trying to tell me that day when he told me that I could still have everything I wanted. Oh Daniel, I need to tell you how I feel. I only hope you feel the same way._


	2. But for Love

Thanks again to Maureen, Monica and Amaranth. Also thanks for the supportive reviews. Makes me think I'm doing it right and that I should do more.**  
**

* * *

**But for Love**

Jack O'Neill left Carter's lab and slowly headed for the elevator to make his way one level up to Daniel's office. Safely inside the lift, he jabbed at the hold button, leaving him alone inside the elevator car. With no one to see, Jack sagged against the wall, all thoughts of cake and beer banished from his mind. Despite his cheery conversation with Carter and his outwardly-looking positive attitude, O'Neill was anything but happy. He was mentally waging a war with himself, oscillating between frustration, anger and sadness. _I ought to be angry with Daniel. After all these years, how could he do this to me — he knew we had to "leave it in the room" for so long — so how could he steal Carter away?_ Mentally shaking his head, Jack chastised himself as his anger vanished, and a sense of overwhelming sadness and loss took its place. _Who am I fooling? She never really WAS "my" Carter. I had my chance and I just couldn't do it. Too many years of closing myself off, keeping my emotions hidden so I wouldn't get hurt, and what happens? I built a wall so strong that when it mattered, nobody could break through — not even me. And I can't deny the truth. What we had was lust. What she has with Daniel is love. And after all these years of being the Universe's whipping boy, I guess Danny-boy deserves some happiness._

* * *

3 months ago ... 

Automatically reaching for his ever-present coffee mug, Daniel Jackson jumped as his unfocused searching resulted in a loud crash as the mug hit the floor. _At least it was empty,_ Daniel thought to himself. _Could'a been worse, I suppose. Or maybe not. _His department had been busy trying to make sense of the artifacts brought back from P9X-376 by SG-7. Between consultations with his staff and answering questions from Drs. Lee and Felger regarding the technology SG-7 acquired along with the artifacts, it seemed to Daniel that he had not seen the sun for a week. _So what else is new?_ He pondered. _It's not like I've never spent hours down here alone._

It was that last thought that did him in. Removing his glasses, Daniel wearily rubbed his tired eyes. _Alone. I'm so tired of being alone._ For a moment, he sat unmoving, a kaleidoscope of emotion playing across his face — frustration, sadness and an almost unbearable sense of longing. He glanced at his watch and absently noted the time (just after 6:00). _Is that 6 a.m. or 6 p.m. _he thought to himself?_ I've been at this so long that I don't even know if it's day or night._ Grabbing his coat, he headed for the surface. The bright sun made him blink. _OK, it's still day, that's good._

Signing out, Daniel slowly made his way to his car, parked as usual at the far end of the lot. The late afternoon sun warmed his face as he pondered what to do. _Head home? It's not like I have someone waiting for me, though I suppose if I believed Dr. Lam, most of the unmarried, and even a few of the married nurses would gladly volunteer._ Reaching his car, he hesitated before unlocking the door. He could almost feel himself relaxing from the warmth of the sun. _Maybe this is what I need — a few hours in the sun._ That thought brought a sardonic smile to his face. _Right. I can just imagine Jack's reaction — explain this to me Daniel, we 'gate to who knows how many planets where all we have is sand, heat, and deserts, and you want to go sit in the sun?_

The smile disappeared, as a sense of sadness drove it away. The rational part of his mind told him that there was no point in moping over something that he couldn't have. The problem was, the rational part of his mind was being ignored. Nevertheless, the idea of a few hours in the sun seemed appealing.

Unlocking his car, Daniel made his way down the mountain and headed for North Cheyenne Cañon Park. Cut 1,000-feet deep in billion-year-old granite rock, the Park featured a spectacular view of the mountains to the west of Colorado Springs. A National Preserve, protected from development, there were only two main focal points where visitors could congregate. _Haven't been to Silver Cascade Falls for some time now,_ he thought to himself. With its stone overlook and seating walls, it was one of the more popular destinations within the Park.

Arriving shortly before 7:00 p.m., Daniel parked his car and made his way along the Silver Cascades Falls Trail. While it normally was a busy route (it linked the other main public area of Helen Hunt Falls), it was a mid-September weekday, which meant the summer crush of tourists would not be in the Park. Neither would school-age children be a problem since school was back in session. Finding a spot just off the main Trail, he made himself comfortable, using his jacket as a pillow. The sounds of the Falls in the distance and the warmth of the sun soon conspired to lull him to sleep.

It was dark when Daniel awoke feeling cold. A look at his watch explained that away — it was after 10 p.m. With a mocking smile on his lips, Daniel thought to himself, w_onder what would happen if I disappeared — would anyone miss me — not that there's anyone who would. Well, OK, Vala would. Teal'c and Mitchell too. Jack and Sam ..._ Almost as soon as he thought about Sam and Jack, he was overcome with an almost physical sense of dismay. _I can't do this anymore. I can't keep pretending that we're just friends. Might as well go home. I can at least be warm when I'm all alone._

Carefully making his way back to his car, he drove to his apartment, almost on auto-pilot. Not even bothering to turn on the lights, he shut the door and slumped onto the sofa, all the while chiding himself for being such a coward. Inwardly raging at himself, he could not overcome a feeling of rejection. _Oh Sam,_ he thought,_ if only you felt what I feel. I wish you hadn't said what you'd said on Vis Uban when I asked you if there was anything between us. Was it the truth? I suppose it was, at least the truth as you saw it. Maybe it's time I asked Landry for that transfer to Atlantis … again.__ Whoever said running away never solved anything obviously never suffered from the pain of one-sided love._

* * *

As he slowly became aware of his surroundings, Daniel grimaced to himself. _Looks like I did it again. Fell asleep in my clothes on the couch. Wonder what time it is? No matter, it's time to get up._ He stretched the kinks out of his back and plodded into the kitchen to make a pot of coffee. The clock on the microwave blinked 06:17 as he set the coffee to "brew" and headed for his bedroom and a quick shower. Emerging feeling refreshed, he returned to the kitchen for the first of what he knew would be many lonely cups of coffee. Daniel felt himself almost overcome with loneliness again. _This is ridiculous,_ he thought to himself._ Get a grip, Jackson. You're 41 years old, not 14. Stop moping over something you can't have._ Spinning on his heels, he grabbed his coffee and moved back to the living room. Turning on the stereo, he placed his coffee on end table and began to flip through the stations. _At least there'll be some noise. It won't be just me._ Not hearing anything that he liked, Daniel was about to turn the off the stereo when his brain caught up to the words and music coming from the speakers. 

So it's rainin' again  
And the wind's up in a roar  
I've been swept through the streets  
To be washed up at your door.

But you're with him I know  
So I'll crawl back later on  
Why do I need you so?  
But for love I'd be gone.

With my back to the wind  
I'm wondering what it is about you  
That makes it so hard to stay  
And harder yet to live without you

So I'll look all around  
But there's nothing here for me  
Like a prisoner I'm bound  
But for you I'd be free.

But for you I'd be gone  
On a jet leavin' today  
For a place in the sun  
Far away.

But the rain still comes down  
And the chilly winds keep blowing  
Down these cold empty streets  
I'm wondering what keeps me going.

So I say to myself  
Why do you linger on  
And my heart cries to me  
But for love I'd be gone.

With a sob that shook his whole body, Daniel Jackson sank back on the sofa. _Oh Sam, I love you so much. Not since Sha're have I loved anyone like this. And I can never tell you I love you — you belong to Jack._


	3. Garden of the Gods

Just a short interlude … but it sets the scene for the grand finale …

* * *

**Garden of the Gods**

Daniel wasn't sure how long he was on the sofa; the sun streaming through the windows obvious proof that it was past 06:30. A part of him wondered if it had been a dream even as he realized it was not. Sighing softly, Daniel automatically reached for the cup of coffee he had set down prior to his music search; he raised the cup to his lips, but almost immediately put it down as his brain registered the fact that it was cold. He levered himself off the sofa and padded back into the kitchen. He tossed the contents of his mug down the sink, followed by the equally cold remnants from the coffeemaker and set about brewing a fresh pot, all the while muttering about the "waste of fine Arabica." He watched the coffee brew as if it were the most fascinating thing he had ever seen. As soon as the machine signaled that the brew cycle was complete, he poured himself a cup and contemplated the situation. The aroma and the taste, not to mention the caffeine hit, soon had him revived to the point where he told himself he was ready for another day at the SGC. A minute later, the reality hit him. _Another day at the SGC where she's so close and yet so far. I don't think I can face her today.__Maybe a hike through the Garden of the Gods Park will help_.

Acting on impulse, for that was what it was, Daniel called General Landry. Assuring him that he was not ill or captured, but rather just needed a break after six days of intensive activity related to the discoveries from P9X-376, he assured the General that he would be back at it "bright and early the next day." Next, he went back to the living room and turned on the TV, flipping through the channels until he found one showing the day's weather forecast. Grabbing a backpack from the closet, he returned to his bedroom and changed into attire suitable for a day hike and the expected weather conditions. Back in the kitchen, he rifled through the cupboards looking for appropriate snacks and drinks to take. He soon realized that he could be a good stand-in for Mother Hubbard if she decided to retire._ I really need to stock up on dry goods. At least they won't spoil if I'm stuck at the SGC. Oh well, I'll stop at one of the local convenience stores and buy some food and drinks._ He almost decided to leave his cell phone behind, but the rational part of his mind told him that he needed to take it along in case of an emergency. Transferring the remainder of his coffee into a travel cup, a smile adorned his lips. _Let's see how many of the trails I can do today._

* * *

Food and drink stowed in his backpack, a short drive found Daniel at the Garden of the Gods Park, where he left his car in the South Garden Parking Lot. It was still early and there were few visitors in the park. He absently noticed posters announcing a live band performance later that day even as he realized that he likely wouldn't be back in time to partake of their music. _Tommy James and Shondells. Never heard of them._ He quickly headed for the Susan G. Bretag Trail. _Haven't done this for a while. _This trail was one of Daniel's favorites. Connecting with many of the other trails in the Garden, the result was a hike circling the entire Park, covering rolling, rocky terrain away from traffic. _And most tourists, too,_ he thought. _Wonder what Jack would think of me spending a day off doing what we do when we go through 'Gate?_ At once his mood sobered, but he quickly dismissed any negative thoughts. _Nope. Not going to let it get me down. It's a beautiful day today. Sunny, expected to be near 80º. Today is for me, no one else._ And with that thought uppermost in his mind, Daniel set off, humming softly to himself _it's a beautiful day in the neighborhood._

* * *

It was late in the afternoon as Daniel made his way along the Scotsman trail. Reaching the fork that connected with the trail that would take him back to the South Garden Parking Lot, he paused. The day had exceeded his expectations. And if he were honest with himself, he would have to admit that he was tired. Good tired, but tired nonetheless. Daniel estimated that it would take him the better part of an hour to hike to his car. Yet something held him back. The analytical part of his brain easily identified the cause: too much sun and not enough liquid — he was dehydrated. But that was not it. The part of Daniel Jackson that was the brilliant, intuitive thinker knew that that wasn't the reason. Traveling through the Stargate to alien worlds, facing who knew what danger, had honed Daniel's "sixth" sense to the point where he never ignored it. And now it was telling him that he should head for the Central Garden area. Daniel shook his head as he tried to nail down the feeling. _It's almost as if something … no, someone … is calling me._


	4. The Heart Won't Lie

**The Heart Won't Lie**

Daniel left the Scotsman trail and leisurely worked his way towards the Central Garden area. He noticed the posters regarding the afternoon's entertainment tacked to the notice boards. As he drew closer, he could just make out the waning sound of applause and someone, presumably the bandleader, announcing the name of the next song to be played. Automatically scanning the area (Jack's years of training were instinctive now), Daniel stopped dead in his tracks. Cutting across the grassy picnic area was Sam! Clad in shorts and a figure-hugging T-shirt, the only thing that his brain could register was _she's so beautiful._ The analytical part of his brain also registered that she had a determined look on her face — the kind of look Daniel knew all too well. This was Sam in full "fix-it" mode, totally committed to an objective, and nothing would stand in her way until she solved the problem. Suddenly, Sam slowed her pace and looked around. Daniel absently wondered whether someone had planted a homing signal in his backpack, because even as the thought crossed his mind, Sam's eyes locked with his and she let out an excited cry. "Daniel."

With no way to avoid her, Daniel arranged his features into neutrality, not intending to let Sam glimpse any of the internal turmoil he was suffering. So he was surprised when she grabbed him in a crushing hug; automatically, his hands reached around her and he hugged her back, drinking in the scent of her hair, the softness of her touch and … the fierceness of her grip? _What's going on? _was Daniel's reaction. _Why is she holding me so tightly,_ he wondered, while at the same time, a part of him thought_ not that I mind._ Instantly, he thought the worst. It had to be SGC-related. But the rational part of him realized that that was not the case; if it had been, he would have been contacted on his cell. Besides, his meeting up with Sam was completely unforeseen. _So why is she holding me?_ Reluctantly loosening his hold, Daniel locked eyes with Sam. He was shaken to his core by what he saw. He had always known that Sam's eyes were the most beautiful shade of blue; but this time, he saw more than just her eyes. What Daniel saw was a reflection of what he felt for Sam — it was the look of love. Not trusting himself to speak, he smiled and waited for her to speak.

"Daniel," she said, "what are you doing here? Holy Hannah, you won't believe what just happened. You have no idea … it was amazing. It was like he saw into my soul. It was …"

"Whoa, Sam. Slow down. You're going to hyperventilate. C'mon, let's go sit over at the picnic benches. You can tell me all about it."

"No Daniel, this can't wait. I have to tell you now before I lose my courage. Daniel, I love you."

It seemed to Daniel that time stopped. _Did Sam just say she loved me?_ Stunned by her revelation, Daniel stood there, gaping at Sam, unable to say anything. As he watched, the look of elation on her face turned to fear as she waited for his reaction. _Say something Daniel,_ she pleased silently. _Anything._ Daniel remained frozen to the spot. With a sob, Sam turned away; her movement snapped Daniel out his trance-like state.

"No Sam, please don't go. I … you love me?"

"Yes Daniel, I do. I've just been too blind to see it."

Daniel's face lit up with what Sam would call his 1,000-megawatt smiles. "Oh, Sam, you have no idea how long I wished to hear you say that. I've loved you for so long. But what happened? Not that I'm complaining, or anything. It's just that you and Jack …"

Sam looked at Daniel and drew him back into a fierce hug. "Shush, Daniel. There's no Jack. We need to talk." Not quite believing what her heard, Daniel replied, "OK Sam, how about I head home, shower and meet you at your place in a couple of hours?"

* * *

Exactly two hours later, Daniel found himself outside Sam's house. About to knock on the door, he couldn't believe how nervous he was. _If you can deal with snake in your head Gou'ald, surely you can deal with a beautiful astrophysicist?_ The issue was soon rendered moot as Sam opened the door and Daniel was once again rendered speechless. Sam was dressed casually in a pair of jeans that molded to her figure like they were painted on. She wore a soft angora sweater, its pale blue color accentuating her eyes, her blonde hair framing her face. All this Daniel took in at a glance. What he noticed more than anything was that Sam was glowing. It was if a light radiated from within her, a light he had seen only once before from Sam — when she was with Martouf.

Smiling at his obvious discomfort, Sam quirked an eyebrow in her best Teal'c imitation and asked "are you planning to stand there all night Daniel, or do you want to come in?" Her reaction to his befuddled state of mind brought a giggle to her lips. Daniel gaped in amazement. _Sam is giggling? OK, who are you and what have you done with my best friend? _But even as the thought came to mind, he quickly dismissed it._ This _was Samantha Carter, not Lt.-Colonel Sam Carter he was seeing. Daniel's heart was filled with such joy. The problem was, even as his brain unfroze, his vocal chords remained a few seconds behind.

"Uhhh, yah … sure …"

Sam burst out laughing. "You speak almost 30 languages, and this is the best you can do?" Taking Daniel's hand she steered him into the living room, returning to close the door. All the while, Daniel remained standing, not moving from where Sam had left him.

A mischievous twinkle in her eye, Sam looked Daniel up and down. He was wearing a pair of casual slacks that fit "just right", a soft tan sweater over a pale cream shirt. "Daniel, I'm not going to bite … unless you want me too?" At that, Daniel blushed a bright shade of red. Sam brought her hand to her mouth to hide her smile. _This is going to be easier than I thought._ "Daniel, sit with me." She led him over to the couch; once seated, she turned to face him. Taking a deep breath, she spoke first.

"Daniel. I've been a fool. Can you ever forgive me?"

A frown on his face, Daniel tried to think of what Sam had done that demanded an apology. "Forgive you Sam, Whatever for? There's nothing to forgive."

"You're wrong Daniel. All these years, I've been searching for something elusive. And all that time it was right before my eyes, if only I had listened to my heart and not my …"

"What, Sam, l don't understand."

In spite of the seriousness of the situation, Sam smiled to herself. _Oh Daniel, you really are so clueless sometimes. _Taking a deep breath, she continued. "Daniel. All my life I've been a scientist. I've spent my whole life searching for hard facts. If it can't be touched, tested, repeated and proven, then it isn't science."

Sam turned from Daniel, struggling to keep her emotions in check. Still facing away from him, she asked: "Daniel, do you remember when I was trapped aboard the _Prometheus_ and I was hallucinating?"

Gently taking her chin, he turned her face so that he was looking straight into her eyes. "Yes, Sam. It was in your report. You said we all appeared to you — me, Teal'c, Jack, your Dad, and a little girl you called Grace. You said that we all helped you get through the time you were alone, that your subconscious mind gave you the clues to get out of the cloud."

"It was more than that, Daniel. I never actually told anyone what my 'hallucinations' said to me." Turning away again, Sam's mood turned somber. She spoke so softly that Daniel had to strain his ears to hear what she said "Well, nobody except Janet." Taking a deep breath, she turned to face Daniel again. "Teal'c told me to be careful, that it was a plot to gain access to the weapons aboard the _Prometheus._ As if I could even do that. My Dad, he asked the strangest question … he asked me if I was happy."

"What did you tell him Sam?"

"I told him that at the moment things were a little rough, but in general, I was happy. And you know what Daniel? He didn't believe me. Now I mean, that is so weird. After all, I was talking to myself, for heaven's sake. And I couldn't even convince myself." Sam laughed as she recalled her "father's" response, but there was no humor in her laugh. "He told me I wasn't happy. He told me I was content, I was satisfied, I was in control and that that was the problem."

A puzzled look on his face, Daniel replied: "Okay, I'm really not following here."

"You know, that's _exactly _what I said. And 'Dad' replied that I was missing something vital from my life. And he said the sad part was that I had no idea what he was talking about. I got indignant and told him off. I said that I was happy. I told 'him' that I'd seen and done things most people couldn't even dream of. I had an incredible life. And then 'he' showed me how much I was fooling myself. All it took was one short sentence. He told me I was alone."

Sam fell silent, taking her eyes away from Daniel and staring at her hands. Knowing that he shouldn't push, Daniel remained silent as well, taking Sam's hands and willing her to feel the support she needed. He could almost see the battle that was taking place in her mind. After a few minutes, Sam looked up again and Daniel started at the tears in her eyes.

"Oh Daniel, he was so right. Do you know what he said? He told me about his love for my mother, that she gave his life meaning and balance and showed him that there was something beyond his career. He said that, even knowing what was going to happen to her, he'd still do it all over again. Then he said that he knew that I'd never let myself have something like that with someone because I was afraid that it would end and I'd be alone again. He told me that I needed to let go of what was preventing me from finding happiness, that I deserved to love someone and be loved in return."

Tears were falling from her eyes; Daniel scooted over to Sam and took her in his arms. Slowly drawing comforting circles on her back, her held her while she cried, even as she tightened her grip on him. Sniffling into his shoulder, she continued her story.

"Of course I ignored him. And who should appear next? Colonel O'Neill. You know, Daniel, I must have been really messed up. I mean, my hallucinations all seemed to know what the previous hallucination had said."

"Why do you say that, Sam"?

"Because even in my concussion-induced state, the analytical part of my brain was still functioning. You know what 'Jack O'Neill' said to me?"

For a moment Daniel said nothing, not sure if he really wanted to know. Softly he replied, "What Sam? What did he say?"

There was a touch of irony in Sam's voice when she responded. "He said he was a safe bet. Can you imagine? A safe bet."

Daniel continued to soothe her as he spoke. "Well, he was a safe bet, Sam. And he _did_ feel something for you, something beyond just a CO/2IC relationship."

Again Sam laughed bitterly. "That's not it, Daniel. Do you want to know what my mind told me to say? I should have listened to what it said. I told 'Jack' that as long as I was thinking about him, setting my sights on what I thought was unobtainable, there would no chance of being hurt by someone else. And the worst of it was that I _knew!_ Even 'Jack' told me so. 'He" said that Dad was right, that I deserved more. Oh Daniel, all these years, everything I ever wanted was right in front of my eyes and I was too blind to see it."

"Sam," he whispered. "I saw you a long, long time ago." Sam looked up at Daniel, tears falling from her eyes as she continued. "I think I fell in love with you the moment I met you in the map room on Abydos. But you had Sha're. Then she was taken as a host and we began our war with the Goa'uld. And then she was gone and I felt so bad and you were so sad and I should have said something and then you … died and it was too late and oh Daniel, I don't know why we wait to tell people how we really feel. I guess I hoped that you always knew … "

Looking back over the years  
Of all the things I've always meant to say  
But words didn't come easily  
So many times through empty fears  
Of all of the nights I tried to pick up the phone  
So scared of who might be answering  
You try to live your life from day to day  
But seeing you across the room tonight  
Just gives me away

"Shh, Sam, it's all right. I'm here now. I'm not going anywhere. I've been so lucky in my life to have the love of two women — you and Sha're. I know I'll never forget Sha're, but you'll never have to worry — I could not love you more."

Cause the heart won't lie  
Sometimes life gets in the way  
But there's one thing that won't change  
I know I've tried  
The heart won't lie  
You can live your alibi  
Who can see you're lost inside a foolish disguise  
The heart won't lie

With a gentle touch, Daniel lifted Sam's face so that she could see his eyes. Sam involuntarily gasped, as she looked deep into Daniel's eyes. _Whoever said that the eyes were a window to the soul had it right_, she thought, for revealed within Daniel eyes was the love Sam had sought for so long. Closing her eyes, she sought Daniel's lips, and as hers met his, they exchanged a passionate kiss. _Thank you Dad, _she thought, _wherever you are. I know everything will be all right now._

* * *

Don't worry … we're not _quite_ done … after all, we left Jack in the elevator. 


End file.
